What if writing was like sculpture?
Imagine a huge piece of marble in front of you. And in your hand a chisel. How would you go about sculpting a beautiful nude?
First you would conjure up an image in your mind; a vision of her beauty. Is she sitting or standing? Maybe dancing? What impression should she make?
Is she voluptuous or lean? Does she have small feet? Large hands? Big nose?
When you set to work, you consider the right proportions first … the length of her legs, arms torso, neck and head. Then you work on the details … her delicate curves, her nose, eyes and her hair.
Sculpting your sentences is like making the light dance around the curves of your beautiful nude.
How to sculpt concise sentences
To sculpt your sentences, you elimate the excess words to create an enjoyable rhythm and pleasurable learner experience. You allow your learners to dance through your content, feeling light and carried along. You communicate your message with more clarity and strength.
This works?
To practice your sculpting skills, don’t work on a long piece of text. Instead, work on a headline, an opening, or closing paragraph. Consider writing each sentence on a new line, so focusing your attention on each sentence becomes easier.
This is the process for sculpting concise sentences:
- Read your sentence slowly
- Highlight the most meaningful words
- Rewrite your sentence by focusing on the meaningful words.
Here is an example:
“This course will provide you with suggestions on your performance so you can overcome the challenges you encounter every day while working for a difficult boss, so you can feel less stressed.”
Now the meaningful words in bold
“This course will provide you with suggestions on your performance so you can overcome the challenges you encounter every day while working for a difficult boss, so you can feel less stressed.“
Clear and concise version:
This course helps you overcome the daily challenges of working for a difficult boss, so you feel less stressed.
Note: Verbs like “provide”, “add” and “make” may seem meaningful, but they are relatively weak. Often you can “merge” them with a noun to create a strong verb. For instance:
- To provide comments … to comment.
- To add a splash of colour … to splash colours.
- To make progress … to progress.
The nouns “comments”, “splash”, and “progress” are called “zombie nouns”. These nouns may sound impressive but they suck the lifeblood out of your verbs.
The more you practice, the faster you tighten your sentences.
Writing clearly and concisely is a craft
“Tools not rules: We could think of writing as carpentry, learning how to use a set of tools. Rules were all about what is right and what is wrong. Tools are all about cause and effect, what we build for the audience.” Roy Peter Clark
Tightening sentences is one of the many tools in your trainer’s toolbox. And no strict rules exist how much you should tighten your sentences.
You’re the eLearning creator. It’s your voice. So write like you want to write. Be careful you don’t chisel away the fascinating details and suck the life and energy out of your content. Read your copy aloud. How does it sound? What’s the rhythm? Is reading your text tiring or invigorating you?
Writing as tight as possible is not your aim.
Your ultimate aim is to communicate your message with clarity so you can connect with and inspire your learners.