You might remember in an earlier Modlette Vickie was talking about designing a Modlette about visual presentations. This is her first attempt for a final paragraph: If you feel it’s hard to create a captivating presentation, don’t worry. It doesn’t need to be so difficult. You should simply begin with introducing a few graphs that explain your points in a simple way.
You can tell Vickie was tired when she wrote this. And when you feel tired, learners hear it in your writing voice. Your content lacks enthusiasm and becomes flat. This shows particularly in the long sentences. Adding ultra-short sentences would instantly add more energy.
Most trainers are like Vickie. They write a final paragraph straight after they’ve poured all their energy into writing their first draft. You’ll find it much easier to write with enthusiasm if you write your final paragraph on another day.
Vickie and her trainer talked about her final paragraph, and Vickie suggested the main stumbling block for Karl, her ideal learner, is that he is nervous about using more visuals in his presentation. He doesn’t think he’s up to it. So, Vickie decides to give Karl a pep talk and to present a concrete target for implementing visuals.
So, this is what she writes:
Including visuals in your presentation isn’t hard. Make a pledge to yourself now, that you’ll include one visual on each slide of your next presentation, and you’ll cut your text by half.
Let your slides dazzle and dance. Captivate your audience.
And let your message linger in their minds.
Do you hear the difference? This feels more energetic:
- The sentences are shorter, making the tone more upbeat
- Instead of using the phrase you should, Vickie has used the imperative form to add power: make, let, and captivate, … these are all imperatives, giving a slightly bossy tone to her writing. Let your message linger is more powerful than you should let your message linger.
- Vickie has used the sensory words dazzle, and dance to add an element of fun to her writing
- Most importantly, Vickie has given a concrete suggestion to her ideal learner to implement… to include a visual on each slide of his next presentation and to cut text by 50%. Concrete advice like this is much easier to commit to.